doc/Tao-of-IRC.940110

   1
   2 The Tao of Internet Relay Chat
   3 Copyright (C) Ove Ruben R Olsen 1994
   4 Version of 940110
   5 Contributing masters: Master ScottM
   6
   7 -----
   8 Something is formed by the electrons, born in the silent cable. Shaping
   9 and growing and ungrowing. It is there yet not there. It is the source of
  10 Internet Relay Chat. I do not know the name, thus I will call it the Tao
  11 of Internet Relay Chat.
  12
  13 If the Tao is great, then the IRC is running ceaselessly. If the IRC is
  14 great then the server is running without ever stoping. If the server is
  15 great then the client will always be the server. The luser is then pleased
  16 and there is Chat in the world.
  17
  18 The Tao of IRC squits far away and connects on returning.
  19
  20
  21 -----
  22 The genetic potential of birth, a lot to know, yet unknown.
  23
  24 In the begining there was nothing.
  25
  26 Out of nothing the Tao gave birth to tolsun.oulu.fi. tolsun gave birth to
  27 OuluBox.
  28
  29 OuluBox gave birth to rmsg.
  30
  31 rmsg was not Tao, so MUT gave birth to IRC.
  32
  33 No one knows when IRC came into existance, the mighty master WiZ have it
  34 to be at the end of the eight month in the year of the Dragon.
  35
  36
  37 -----
  38 Each channel has its purpose, however humble. Each channel is the Yin and
  39 Yang of IRC. Each channels has it's place within the IRC.
  40
  41 In the beginning there was only channel 0, thus channel 0 is the soil of
  42 IRC.
  43
  44 Channel 1 to channel 10 then was open as the sea. Channel 11 to 999 was the
  45 trees and forests of IRC. Channels above 999 should not be mentioned, and
  46 channels below 0 were unborn and contained many secrets.
  47
  48 This was not the right Tao, so IRC gave birth to +channels.
  49
  50 +channels had the yin and yang. Mode does not.
  51
  52 This was not the right Tao still, so IRC gave birth to #channels.
  53
  54 #channels have the yin and yang.
  55
  56 Only channel 0 is the right path to Tao, but avoid speaking on channel 0.
  57
  58
  59 -----
  60 There was a great dispute among the Broom-Walkers of the Relay. Some of them
  61 wanted neither yin nor yang. Out of this Eris came into existance. Some of the
  62 Broom-Walkers then created Eris Free-net.
  63
  64 This was the right Tao.
  65
  66 Kind Gentle and Boring Net was another wrong path to the Tao of Internet Relay
  67 Chat.
  68
  69 Some time later there was a quantity of some lusers who wanted to be
  70 Broom-Walkers also. The Eris Free Broom-Walkers did not agree with them,
  71 thus a new IRC was born. This IRC is called the Undernet.
  72
  73 But this is not the right Tao, either.
  74
  75
  76 -----
  77 There will always be disputes among the Broom-Walkers of Internet Relay Chat.
  78
  79 This is the very nature of the IRC.
  80
  81
  82 -----
  83 Lusers that do not understand the Tao is always using the yang of Mode on
  84 their channels. Lusers that do understand the Tao are always using Ignore
  85 on their channels.
  86
  87 How could this not be so ?
  88
  89
  90 -----
  91 The wise sage luser is told about the Chat and uses it. The luser is told
  92 about the IRC and is looking for it. The flock are told about the Tao and
  93 make a fool of the IRC.
  94
  95 If there was no laughter, there would be no Tao.
  96
  97
  98 -----
  99 The master says:
 100 "Without the Tao of Internet Relay Chat, life becomes meaningless."
 101
 102 The Relay of the old time was mysterious and sacred. We can neither imagine
 103 its thoughts nor path; we are left but to describe.
 104
 105
 106 -----
 107 The sage luser must be aware like a frog crossing the highway.
 108
 109
 110 -----
 111 The great master Wumpus once dreamed that he was an automaton. When he awoke
 112 he exclaimed:
 113         "I don't know whether I am Wumpus dreaming that I am a client,
 114          or a client dreaming that I am Wumpus!"
 115
 116 So was the first Automata born.
 117
 118 The master Nap then said:
 119         "Any automata should not speak unless spoken to.
 120          Any automata shall only whisper when spoken to."
 121
 122 Thus replied the master Gnarfer:
 123         "The lusers shall keep in mind that a automata can be either good or
 124          bad. Create good automata, and the IRC will hail you and you will
 125          gain fame and fortune. Create bad automata and people will start to
 126          hate you, and finaly you will be /KILLed to ethernal damnation"
 127
 128 Many lusers have fallen into the clutches of ethernal damnation. They where
 129 not following the Tao.
 130
 131
 132 -----
 133 There once was a luser who went to #BotSex. Each day he saw the automatons.
 134 The luser decided that he also would have such a automata.
 135 He asked another luser for his automata. The other luser gave his automata
 136 away.
 137
 138 The luser was not within the Tao, so he just started the automata. The automata
 139 had only Yang inside so all the lusers files where deleted.
 140
 141 Some moons laither the same luser then had become a sage luser, and did create
 142 his automata from the very grounds with materials found inside the IRC.
 143 The luser was now within the Tao and his automata lived happily ever after.
 144
 145
 146 -----
 147 There once was a master who wrote automatons without the help of master Phone.
 148 A novice luser, seeking to imitate him, began with the help of master Phone.
 149 When the novice luser asked the master to evaluate his automata the master
 150 replied: "What is a working automata for the master is not for the luser.
 151 You must must BE the IRC before automating."
 152
 153
 154 -----
 155 Master BigCheese gave birth to master Troy; his duty clear. Master Troy gave
 156 birth to master Phone, for the Tao of Irc must be eternal and must flow as the
 157 ceaseless river of Time itself.
 158
 159
 160 -----
 161 Master Phone once said about the ircII client:
 162         "public_msg is for a message from someone NOT on the channel
 163          public_other is for a message on a channel that doesn't belong to
 164          a window. public is for a message on a channel that belongs to a
 165          window!"
 166
 167 Out of this raised the mighty chaos.
 168
 169
 170 -----
 171 The sage luser came to the master who wrote automata without the help of
 172 master Phone. The sage luser asked the master who wrote automata: "Which is
 173 easiest to make. A automata with the help of master Phone or an automata
 174 made with the help of a language ?"
 175
 176 The master who wrote automata then replied:
 177         "With the help of a language."
 178
 179 The sage luser was disapointed and exclaimed: "But, with master Phone you
 180 do not need to know anything about the soil of IRC. Is not that the easiet
 181 way ?"
 182
 183 "Not really" said the master who wrote automata, "when using master Phone
 184 you are closed inside a box. For sure, it is a great box for the lusers,
 185 but the master will need more power, thus a language is the only path to go.
 186 With the language the master will never have to limit himself. When using
 187 such a language the master will seek the best between the need and the
 188 availibility."
 189
 190 "I see", said the sage luser.
 191
 192 This is the essence of Tao of IRC automatas.
 193
 194
 195 -----
 196 A client should be light and be used for communication. The spirit of a good
 197 client is that it should be very convinient for the luser to use, but hard
 198 for the luser who want to create automata.
 199 There should never ever be too many functions or too few functions.
 200
 201 There should always be a ignore.
 202
 203 Without ignore the client is not within the Tao of Chating.
 204
 205 The client should always respond the luser with messages that will not
 206 astnonish him too much. The server likewise. If the server does not, then it
 207 is the clients job to explain what the server says.
 208
 209 A client which fails this, will be useless and cause confusion for the lusers.
 210 The only way to correct this is to use another client or to write a new one.
 211
 212
 213 -----
 214 A luser asked the masters on #IrcHelp: "My client does not work".
 215 The masters replied: "Upgrade your client".
 216 The luser then wondered why the master knew. The master then told him about
 217 the Protocol.
 218
 219 "Your client does not work beaucse it does not understand the server. Why
 220 should it always work ? Only a fool would expect such. But, clients are made
 221 by humans, and humans are not perfect. Only Tao is.
 222
 223 The IRC is solid. The IRC is floating, and will always be dynamic. Live with
 224 that or /quit."
 225
 226
 227 -----
 228 The luser came to the masters of #IrcHelp, asking about the Tao of IRC within
 229 the client.
 230 The masters then said that the Tao of IRC always lies inside the client
 231 regardless of how the client connects to the server.
 232
 233 "Is the Tao in irc ?" asked the luser.
 234 "It so is" replied the masters of #IrcHelp.
 235 "Is the Tao in the ircII, Kiwi, rxirc, vms, rockers and msa ?" asked the
 236 luser.
 237 "In all of them and in the TPC, irchat, zenirc, zircon X11-irc and even the
 238 dos irc has the Tao" said the master quietly.
 239 "Is the Tao in a telnet connection directly to the server ?"
 240
 241 The master then was quiet for a long time and said. "Please leave, such
 242 questions are not within the Tao of IRC".
 243
 244
 245 -----
 246 The master says: "Without the Protocol of TCP the messages will not travel.
 247                   Without the client, the server is useless."
 248
 249
 250 -----
 251 There once was a luser who used the ircII client. "ircII can do anything I
 252 ever need for using IRC" said the emacs client user, "I have /ON's, I have
 253 assignments, I have aliasing. Why don't you use this instead of the huge
 254 emacs client, which also has a messy screen?"
 255 The emacs client user then replied by saying that "it is better to have a
 256 scripting language that is the client instead of have a client that has
 257 a scripting language." Upon hearing this, the ircII client luser fell silent.
 258
 259
 260 -----
 261 The master Wumpus said: "Time for you to leave. I did, now I'm happy."
 262 The master Gnarfer replied: "Use, but never overuse IRC, then you will also
 263 be happy within IRC"
 264
 265
 266 -----
 267 A luser came unto the masters of #EU-Opers and asked, "How can I be, yet not
 268 be, a user@host within the IRC?"
 269 The masters of #EU-Opers replied: "To be Tao is to be ones true self. To hide
 270 ones self is not Tao, and is not IRC, you have much to learn before you shall
 271 be at rest within the Flow of Irc.  Please leave"
 272